When God’s “no” is a bitter pill

Perhaps today’s title hits a little too close to home for you. Maybe you have prayed desperately for something you desire – healing for yourself or a loved one, getting the job offer for your dream job, becoming a parent, seeing a wayward child turn her life around, saving a broken relationship. But instead of the “yes” you had hoped to hear from God, you have heard “no” … again and again.

God answered one of my prayers with a “no” this past weekend, and while it’s not the bitterest pill I’ll ever have to swallow, it was a tough one. I was supposed to spend the weekend in the woods: volunteering for an ultramarathon and crewing for my husband while he ran the race. He had trained hard for the race, and all his running over the last six months was preparing for this one big race.

But it was not to be. Four weeks ago, he realized he injured his left foot during a wet, muddy race. Not a severe issue, not a break or a fracture, but a tendon or muscle strain. While we had both surrounded the race with prayer for months leading up to it, the prayers changed after the injury. I asked God to heal my husband’s injury so he could run the race. I begged and pleaded and prayed and prayed and prayed some more.

After doctors’ visits and a couple of rest weeks, a few bad, short runs, and prayers that asked not just for healing but also wisdom about running the race, my husband knew that God’s answer was “no” – no running this weekend.

My husband handled the decision well, but it was a tough weekend emotionally, even with distractions of a trip out of town, dinner with friends and a big gardening project. So while it turned out to be a fun weekend in its own way, it wasn’t the one either one of us would have chosen.

Accepting God’s will and answers of “no” to our prayers can be extremely difficult. We bargain, cajole, promise and plead. God loves us enough to listen to these prayers, but He also knows the plans He has for us (Jeremiah 29:11), and sometimes those plans mean He will say “no” to our prayers along the way.

Whether He’s teaching a lesson in patience or shaping us for something in our future or allowing a loved one to die to end earthly suffering or keeping a door closed so we’ll get closer to His will, God alone knows why some answers have to be “no” or “not yet.”

Jesus’ own “no” from God
As we walk together through this Holy Week, I thought it might help to remember that even Jesus experienced an answer of “no” from God in His own time here on earth, as He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, right before the soldiers came to arrest Him:

And He came out and proceeded as was His custom to the
Mount of Olives; and the disciples also followed Him. When
He arrived at the place, He said to them, “Pray that you may
not enter into temptation.” And He withdrew from them about
a stone’s throw, and He knelt down and began to pray,
saying, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me;
yet not My will, but Yours be done.” Now an angel from heaven
appeared to Him, strengthening Him. And being in agony He
was praying very fervently; and His sweat became like drops
of blood, falling down upon the ground. When he rose from
prayer, He came to the disciples and found them sleeping
from sorrow, and said to them, “Why are you sleeping? Get
up and pray that you may not enter into temptation.”
– Luke 22:39-46

Look at how Jesus prayed in this time before His arrest and crucifixion: He prayed fervently, pouring sweat because of the anguish He felt over what was coming for Him. In His pleading, though, he never forgot the one key thing: “Father, if You are willing …” Jesus knew God’s plan and knew the suffering that would come, and He knew that God would not let Jesus suffer unless it served God’s purposes.

Accepting God’s “no” was Jesus’ response of obedience and submission to God’s will. It was difficult for Jesus to accept the torture and death He would face, but He understood God’s will would prevail, and He knew whose lives He would be saving by His own dying.

Do you think any of the disciples prayed fervently for Jesus’ life to be spared that night? Perhaps they were too frightened for their own safety to pray for Jesus then, but Jesus wanted them to keep praying. His last words to them before his arrest exhorted them to “pray that you may not enter temptation,” to pray that they would not be tempted to lose faith in all they had seen and believed about Christ.

Can you picture Jesus saying the same words to you in the face of a “no” from God. Some of the “no” answers we get may tempt us to turn from faith, to turn away from God’s will, but Jesus wants us to stand our ground and fight for our faith, and He knew that the best way to do that was to pray – even if the answers aren’t always what we want.

As Easter approaches, I hope you’ll remember Jesus’ prayer and His response to the answer. Maybe God’s “no” to Jesus, His beloved son, will remind you of His own love for you and His desire for you to fulfill His plans for you, even if it means saying “no” to some of your own plans.

Spring things that make me go “Yay”

Today’s post title gives away my age a bit, as it’s inspired by Arsenio Hall’s “Things that make you go ‘Hmmm'” segment on his short-lived, late-night show back when I was coming of age.

After a mild winter, spring has come early and breathtakingly. So I wanted to share some of the things about spring that make me go “Yay.”

An azalea blazing in my front garden

The only ranunculus to come back for the third year

The first snapdragon to bloom this spring -- I love the fuzz on its buds.

I love, love, love snapdragons, and they perennialize for at least a few years at a time here. This is the third year (I think) that this particular set has come back. I’ll plant more this year Continue reading

Running roots

I’ve mentioned my love of running before, but these days, it takes up a lot of my thoughts. Just a few short weeks ago, I registered to run my first marathon and sat down with my husband (who also happens to make a great unofficial running coach) and mapped out my long runs from now until mid-June, when I’ll run the marathon.

I wish I could say I feel completely confident about reaching this new goal, but overly tight muscles and memories of old injuries keep threatening to drag me down. Anyone who has run a marathon will tell you that overcoming the mental hurdles is half (or more) of the battle. And so I know I need to win the mental race before I’ll be able to endure the physical one.

That’s where patience and discipline come in. Let me be the first to admit that neither of these two virtues is a strength of mine, but I know I’ll need to cultivate both to toe the line at that June marathon with a firm hope of finishing.

Running the marathon is a bit like enjoying a fully grown and thriving tree planted in your yard. Trees don’t just spring up fully grown overnight, just as humans don’t typically wake up one morning and find themselves magically able to run 26.2 miles.  Continue reading

Worries on the road less traveled

Do you worry a lot? I do. I know, I know – God tells us over and over again in the Bible not to worry, but I think I was born worried, so worried, in fact, that I came out six weeks early to fit in more worrying.

This past weekend, I had a lot of worries to face on what should have been a blissful outing. My husband, dog and I went for a hike to measure a trail for my husband’s web site. My husband has a passion for running and numbers and helping others and sharing his story of faith, and he has combined all of that into a great site with maps and accurate wheel measurements of runnable trails in the northwestern North Carolina mountains.

I’ve taken wheel in hand to measure a couple of trails for him. And I’ve accompanied him on other trails as he did the measuring. Until this weekend, the trails were easy ones. Wide, well-maintained, steep at times, but still easy to walk.  Continue reading

Summer’s golden lining

I’ve got a confession: I don’t really love summer. Or more specifically, I don’t love summer where I live. It’s hot, ridiculously humid, and it’s one long mosquito fiesta from May (sometimes April) through October (sometimes November).

As a runner, I’m an odd bird because I’d much prefer to run in 20 degree weather than in 80s and higher – and trust me, there are a lot more days here that are above 80 than below 20. I know some runners who won’t even run outside in the winter but relish a warm July day to head out into the sun. Not me. There are only so many clothes a person can take off and still run outside.

I’m actually not running these days anyway. I’ve been sidelined with an injury for the last four weeks, and I’m looking at possibly two more weeks without running. If any of you are or know runners who have been sidelined, then you’ll know that climbing-the-walls feeling I’m fighting every day. And feel free to send my husband sympathy cards for having to deal with my general grumpiness at being among the walking wounded. He definitely deserves them. Just don’t send the kind with glitter – he’s not a fan.  Continue reading