A grassroots compassion campaign

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compassion – (n) [kuhm-pash–uhn] a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering (Dictionary.com).

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In last Wednesday’s post, I wrote about the “parasol” God brought to Jonah’s pity party. That parasol was a vine shading Jonah from the heat of the day, and God used it to teach Jonah several lessons. One of those lessons was about the value of compassion, and that’s where I’d like for us to sit together for a while today.

Here again is the compassion part of God’s conversation with Jonah:

Then the Lord said, “You had compassion on the plant for which you did
not work and which you did not cause to grow, which came up overnight
and perished overnight. Should I not have compassion on Nineveh, the
great city in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not
know the difference between their right and left hand, as well as many
animals?” – Jonah 4:10-11

God’s main frustration with Jonah during his pity party was the lack of compassion he felt for the people – and animals, too – of Ninevah, the people who had heeded his warnings and put on sackcloth and fasted in hopes of turning away God’s wrath.

I wonder how often God gets frustrated with our own lack of compassion. Those moments when we make snap judgments about those around us or refuse to consider a person’s circumstances before dismissing them as unworthy of our time or patience or help. Those shameful encounters when we tear down even more instead of reaching out a hand to help back up. Those blind eyes we turn to others’ pain.

This struck me hard over the weekend after reading a blog post from a woman who was in that movie theater with her two teenage daughters. Yes, that theater. Though shaken emotionally, she felt compelled to share a message of her unshaken faith (and some amazing faith statements from her daughters) through her blog. The post went viral, and instead of her usual 30 or so readers, more than a million readers from around the world read her testimony to the goodness of God.

Most commented with compassion, but there were some who decided to tear her down instead. To call her selfish. To criticize her actions that night. To correct her grammar. Yes, you read that right. One commenter felt it important to write in to instruct her: It’s “champing at the bit,” not “chomping at the bit.” Continue reading →

The rejuvenating power of play

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Deep in conversation

I wanted to follow up on a comment to last week’s post. A woman wrote in to thank me for challenging her assumption: “As a friend with kids, I just always assume my children are annoying people who don’t have kids.”

This assumption – that kids annoy adults who don’t have children – immediately made me think of so many of the women I interviewed talking about their own aunts playing with them or describing their love of playing with the children in their lives. I don’t have any evidence of how widespread this assumption is, but I hope today’s post will help dispel the notion that children always annoy those of us who aren’t parents.

The ways we play
Remember the aunt who made clothes for her niece’s frog? By ensuring that the frog had a proper wardrobe, she was honoring her niece’s desire to play and showing her that playtime was valuable enough for her to contribute her own time and talent. I’m pretty sure I never played with frogs when I was little, but one of my mom’s friends (an unmarried, older lady) always brought me clothes she made for my Barbie. I cannot describe how special I (and my Barbie) felt to have these fabulous clothes. Continue reading →

Celebrate Auntie’s Day this Sunday

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Time for a bonus post for the week to let you know about Auntie’s Day this Sunday.

One of my very best friends reminded me that Sunday is Auntie’s Day. She’s a mom to four children (whom I consider honorary nieces and nephew), and she’s a fabulous friend, too.

If you’d like to know more about celebrating Auntie’s Day (with ecards and more), here’s the Savvy Auntie site. You can also click the graphic above, and it’ll take you to the site.

Celebrate
How will you celebrate? With an ecard or a real card or a phone call or a visit to your favorite aunt? If you’re an aunt, do your nieces and nephews even know about Auntie’s Day? (Feel free to send them a link to this post as a not-so-subtle hint about your special day.)

If any of you have especially fun celebrations this Sunday, I’d love to hear about them here. And whether your nieces and nephews honor you this weekend, I hope you’ll do a little something special to honor yourself. Because as the tagline of the Auntie’s Day promo says: “Aunthood is a gift.” Happy Auntie’s Day!

 

When God brings a parasol to your pity party

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I don’t know about you, but I’ve found myself praying for shade a lot this hot summer. I’m more grateful than usual when one of the rare spots under a tree in a parking lot is open. Clouds make me almost giddy when I’m out for a morning run. And I’ve even found myself thankful for a large truck’s shadow cast over my car while I wait at a traffic signal.

But I’ll admit. Sometimes I forget to be grateful for these gifts of shade and comfort. Sometimes I’m stuck in a one-woman pity party, and I can’t see past my own bad mood to acknowledge all that’s wonderful around me.

God had to know when He created us that we humans would tend toward pity parties. We have plenty of biblical pity parties to learn from, and in one of my favorites, God even brings a parasol to the party.

A parasol for a pity party?

Continue reading →

The good aunt and sticky friendships

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Please forgive the later-than-usual post today. I was spending time with a dear friend and her family earlier today and then came home to find sugar ants all over my kitchen counter. A war ensued, and though I’ve left the kitchen and moved to my home office, ants keep crawling down my arms (so please also forgive any typos – crawling critters make me spastic).

Anyway, what I really want to share with you today is a call to take up arms in a different sort of battle: a battle for stronger friendships.

Yesterday’s New York Times published an intriguing article about why it’s so difficult to form friendships after the age of 30 (Thanks to Enuma Okoro for calling this article to my attention – she’s one of those amazing “people magnets” that I’ll speak of in a moment). The article points out that college is one of the last times most of us have an easy time creating deep friendships.

Now I know there are some of you out there well past college age who have absolutely no trouble making friends. Some of you have the sort of personality that draws people to you with little effort on your part. I’m friends with a few of you, and you “people magnets” can go read some other blog if you like.

But for those of you who have drifted away from more friends than you care to admit, I challenge you: decide which ones mean enough to you to make a true effort at rekindling the friendship. For those of you who have met someone you think could be a friend but haven’t quite connected with, follow the article’s implicit advice: ask that person to meet you for coffee, even if you have to schedule the date for several weeks from now.

You may be wondering what this has to do with good aunts. Many of us without children long to be not only good aunts to the children in our lives, but also good friends with women who have children. You might be surprised by how difficult this can be, especially for women in their thirties and forties, during prime child-rearing years.

Continue reading →