About hopesquires

I've left behind the daily grind to write full time and to figure out what my own flourishing tree looks like. I'd love to help you flourish and grow along the way, so that you, too, can cultivate a life that pleases God.

The purpose that prevails

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21 (NIV)

What did you want to be when you were little? If you’re like me, you daydreamed about becoming lots of different things. I made two paintings in elementary school two years apart that showed what I wanted to be when I grew up: an artist the first year, a teacher the second. Every year, sometimes every day, I thought up new things I wanted to be when I was older.

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My elementary school idea of what I’d grow up to be, complete with a change in eye color and a floating body (notice that my shoes aren’t attached to the rest of me).

It seems like even now I never stop dreaming about what direction my life will go next, but I have to remember not to get too carried away with myself. Proverbs 19:21 speaks to these plans in my heart, with a beautiful reminder that I’m not ultimately in charge (whew! that’s a relief).

With hindsight, there are plenty of times in my life that I’m grateful for God saying no, because He had something even better in mind for me. But I wasn’t very thankful when I was living in those moments. His “No” seemed difficult and even bewildering.

But now that I have seen bewilderment turn into blessing, I need to keep a firm grasp on the truth of Proverbs 19:21 as I work to fulfill the hopes and dreams and plans I have for my future. Continue reading

The good aunt on Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is Sunday, a fact that wouldn’t have escaped you if you’ve been to a big box store or the grocery store or even the drug store, or if you’ve watched the least little bit of TV or had newspaper department store flyers fall onto your lap as you sit at breakfast.

I’ve seen plenty of blog posts this week about motherhood and mothering and wonderful mothers and mothers in need. I also saw (thanks to Ann Voskamp linking to it from her own blog) a blog post from a woman decrying the practice in some churches of honoring mothers by asking them to stand up during the service. Not because she thinks mothers don’t deserve a special day and a special honor, but because she wants church to feel like a safe place for all women, and some women are non-moms (her term for herself), who need an extra bit of compassion on Mother’s Day.

There are plenty of reasons to love Mother’s Day. Maybe you have a wonderful mother who is still living or you’re a mom of little ones who anticipate making you breakfast in bed and giving you homemade cards with little handprints and too much glitter.

But there are plenty of reasons not to love Mother’s Day either. You’re torn between seeing your own mother or spending time with your grown children. Your alcoholic mother abused you. Your mother is in the late stages of dementia and no longer recognizes you. Your mother is no longer living. You’re just not that close to your mother. Continue reading

Spring hopes

For those of you who have been wondering if I’ve been neglecting my garden during the early spring with all the running my husband and I have been doing, you’re right. I have neglected my garden, and as a result, the chipmunks are winning a battle I didn’t realize we were already fighting this season.

When my husband and I came home from an out-of-town trip early this week, he went outside and stayed outside for a looooong time. When he came inside, he was steaming mad. Why? A beautiful camellia had tipped over, its roots eaten/disturbed by chipmunks tunneling around everywhere.

After several years of barely blooming, that particular camellia bloomed more abundantly this year, and a few weeks back, I took some photos of it:

A beautiful young camellia just weeks ago

A beautiful young camellia just weeks ago

I’m glad now that I photographed it when I did, because it may not survive the chipmunk wars to bloom another season. Its lovely blooms stayed well past a typical camellia season, probably because we’ve had a mostly chilly spring so far.

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A showy bloom from the camellia

My husband propped the camellia back up, and he filled in around it with dirt and my usual arsenal against varmints: permatill (tiny rocks that act as a soil conditioner and supposedly also as a deterrent to burrowing rodents like chipmunks); holy moley (mole repellent that apparently does not repel chipmunks); more dirt and new mulch; and holly tone (fertilizer to strengthen the camellia).

We have hope that our efforts will save the camellia, but it has already shed several yellow leaves, and the rest of the leaves look distressed. I’m not sure whether to cut it way back or leave it alone to see what parts may survive, if any. Master gardeners out there: I welcome your advice.

I’ve spent the last few days weeding and planning next steps for the garden, all the while listening for blasted chipmunks to chirp their way past the red camellia. I’m also trying to figure out the best way to protect the other two camellias we have, along with a young susanqua that is a transplant from my mother’s garden. Heaven help the chipmunks if they go there. Continue reading

True love and running, part 2

Two weeks ago, I promised a post about an inspiring couple who ran the same 100-mile race as my husband. Today, I’m excited to introduce you to Bill and Sally Squier. Theirs is a story of endurance – in love and in running. Theirs is also a story of inspiration and encouragement.

I’m not completely sure, but if I had to guess, I would bet that I first met Bill and Sally out in the woods at the headquarters aid station for this 100-mile race, an aid station that bears her name: Sally’s Asylum. My husband volunteered at the aid station before he and I ever met, and he has also paced runners, including Sally, as they ran toward their 100-mile finish.

Once we were married, I wanted to come out and meet all these crazy runners and fill water bottles and hand out food, too. I didn’t want to miss out on all the fun he was having in the dark middle of the night in the woods. We would joke and laugh with Sally and watch for Bill, who was usually running the race.

The first thing you notice about Sally is her smile. It’s warm and genuine and infectious, and I think that’s just one of the reasons so many people want to be around her. She’ll probably give you a hug, and if you’re at the aid station, she’ll put you to work. But then she’ll start asking you about your own running.

Sally is probably the one I have to thank (blame?) the most for my husband deciding to run the 100 miler. If I ever run even a 50 miler – which, Sally, I tell you in all seriousness I have no desire to do – I’ll be able to thank (blame?) her for putting the idea in my head in the first place.

Bill usually has a smile on his face, too, but if you watch closely, you’ll see him light up even more when he sees his beautiful bride Sally. This year, they became the oldest married couple to finish the 100 miler, at 70 years old. They’re likely the longest married to run the race, too. Continue reading

Runners’ resilience

Before yesterday, I hadn’t planned to write about the Boston Marathon, despite its importance in our house. Some years, my husband arranges to be off the day of the marathon so we can watch coverage of it, but yesterday, he had to go in to work.

Instead of writing about Boston, I had been planning to write tomorrow about an inspiring couple who just completed the same 100-mile race as my husband two weekends ago. I still might write about them tomorrow, or I might wait until next week. I’m not sure yet, because I want their story to count, and I don’t want it to get lost in the tragic events of this week.

You see, my family of runners came under attack yesterday, and I’m hurt and angry and confused and grief-stricken. The sick-stomach feeling hasn’t left me since I heard the news yesterday afternoon. And I know I have to write about it here before I can move on to happier topics.

I’m not going to take time to photograph anything for today’s post. There’s nothing I could include here that could add anything meaningful to what I need to say about yesterday – not the medals or jackets my husband has earned in Boston, not the framed Boston Marathon posters that grace our walls, not even the books on our shelves that tell the many stories of this great event.

If you’re not a runner, you may not quite understand the nature of runners that makes us all feel part of a community, part of a large, slightly crazy family. If you are a runner, you know what I mean. And Boston? Well, Boston is the most prestigious family party we have in the United States every year (dare I name it the best in the world?). We all want to be invited, and many of us work for years to qualify for the opportunity to go. Some of us know we will never go as anything other than spectators. When we meet other runners, and the conversation turns to Boston, we know what comes next: “Have you run it?” The simple one-word answer to that question is telling for everyone who has ever run a marathon and knows what sets Boston apart. You have to run for real to get to Boston.

Let me share this poem with you that will give you some idea of what it means to be part of the running family. The poem is John Donne’s (most?) famous one, and I have no idea if Donne ever loved running, but, wow: He got it right, this idea of family and community and a bond that stretches across nations:

No man is an island
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend’s were.
Each man’s death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

Before two bombs changed everything yesterday afternoon, I watched Kara Goucher come across the finish line. Her first words after she finished were about her teammate and training partner Shalane Flanagan. “How’d Shalane do? How’d Shalane do?” That answer was more important to Goucher than anything else in that moment, more important than how she felt and more important than her impressive 6th place finish. She wanted to know how her “sister” had fared in the event. Goucher knows: we runners are stronger together, more resilient when we cheer each other’s accomplishments and not just our own.

I spent much of the later part of the afternoon praying, watching my Twitter feed for news, and answering phone calls, texts and Facebook inquiries from friends who wanted to know if we were in Boston (we had not traveled to Boston); whether we knew anyone running yesterday (several friends of friends and also some of my husband’s colleagues); and whether we were okay ourselves (shaken, angry, confused). Friends of my parents called them to make sure Chris and I were okay, and I called my mother-in-law so she would hear the news from me before any friends had a chance to call her with their own questions of concern.

I didn’t watch much coverage of the aftermath (see There but for the grace of God), but I did spend time looking for people’s names on the Boston Marathon runner tracker page, trying to assume that those who had an official finish time were most likely safe. Some were the friends of friends I mentioned, but others were complete strangers, like the two sweet women who were running Boston yesterday to raise money for friends’ medical expenses. I didn’t even know their story until yesterday, and yet I found myself searching for word that they were okay, safe, whole.

I did watch the nations’ flags flutter and a few fall in the aftermath. This was an attack on U.S. soil, but it was also an attack on all of us. As Donne says, “No man is an island.” Flags fly at half staff in my own city today, a show of solidarity, an announcement that we are with Boston and with those who face unimaginable injury and unimaginable loss of life. And we will lend our best to help make the Boston marathon even stronger next year.

There’s an 8-year-old boy among the dead. And I think I won’t be able to push him out of my thoughts as I head off for the last coaching session with my own team of 8-year-old and older girls. Because I know that we are a running family, and his death and the terror of yesterday diminished us all in some way.

But I also know that runners are resilient. We wouldn’t be able to accomplish great distances without that toughness. And we will band together. And we will be stronger than terror wants us to be. And we will be loving in a way that terror can never understand. And we will care about those whom terror has killed or injured. And we will triumph. And we will raise the flags along Boylston Street again. And we will run.